Ex-Gays

Hiiii, Community. What have you been up to? I’m back to writing and I don’t know how to feel about that, but speaking to you last week was nice :) Did you join our twitter space on Wednesday? I hope so. I sent out emails and made a cute flyer (shoutout to Canva templates) and everything. 

I called this conversation ‘Community Chat 1’ because there’s more to come, so don’t worry if you missed it. In today’s post I’ll be going over the talking points from our conversation on ex-homosexuals, and expanding on the thoughts that led to the discussion.

The first thing you need to know is that we have a Twitter account and we’d love it if you followed us. I’d been putting off the Community Chat for weeks because I was nervous. Up until then, I’d only used Twitter Spaces as a listener and never a speaker. Guess what, though? Our listeners loved it; all 38 of them. What a relief. 

After introducing myself and my guest speaker K, who handles the LGBTRightsGhana Twitter account, I began the conversation with a ‘before and after’ story of the most recent popular ex-gay in Ghana. I found the story quite intriguing. K, however, did not, and for two good reasons: 

1. He had no interest in doing free promo for Ghana’s most recent popular ex gay. 

2. In his secondhand experience, “they always come back”.    

He was careful as he spoke, not to invalidate anyone’s experience. I found the whole conversation, including his consideration for ex-gays interesting because it’s usually the other way around… straight people going on radio stations and television to discuss the LGBTQ+ community and ask what people’s “opinions” on us are. 

The ex-gay movement is made up of people who formerly identified as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer but no longer do. The reasons for this are often directly or indirectly as a result of religious beliefs. A member of the audience pointed out that ex-gays seem to pop out of nowhere at very convenient (for the state) times. In Ghana, for example, when LGBTRightsGhana opened their new space and then when the anti-LGBTQ+ bill was introduced. This point answered my question on intent, before I even had a chance to ask. 

What do you think? I know that ex- gays are often platformed by queerphobic organisations and used as “evidence” that through prayer or some sort of “conversion therapy”, a person can change their sexual orientation. Do you think any Ghanaian who publicly identifies as a former homosexual, doing media tours and interviews on how they’ve changed, could be doing so out of anything other than malice? Because really, who sent them? Who asked them anything? 

Pastor Aaron Akrong (who may or may not have been the popular ex-gay we spoke about in our Community Chat) in his transformation story, often made a point to shoutout the pastor and ministry that helped him on his journey on the straight and narrow path. It seemed like a very well placed ad for a charismatic church, which didn’t surprise me for even a second. He said he supported the anti-LGBTQ+ bill because he didn’t want “such people” to negatively influence his future children. For the most part, ex-gays are all the same. I’ll now tell you what I think. 

Hearing about Pastor Aaron made me research the ex-gay movement in Africa, and that was when I came across the story of Elisha Mukisa from Uganda. This well-written article said that Elisha, in his public identification of himself as a former homosexual, was instrumental in the passing of Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Act, one of the harshest anti-LGBTQ+ laws. He provided evidence to prove the popular lie that that LGBTQ+ community preyed on children and recruited them into homosexuality. The unfortunate thing about Elisha’s story is that the law he helped the state to pass against the queer community, was used to imprison him. 

During his imprisonment, he admitted to lying and being used by religious leaders and politicians to push an anti-LGBTQ+ agenda. Elisha expressed regret for his actions that harmed the queer community and promised to fight against the Anti-Homosexuality Act when he was out of prison. He came out of prison and denied all the claims he had refuted. He continued campaigning against the community he apologized to and expressed regret for betraying. 

Members of the LGBTQ+ community in Uganda believed his behaviour was a result of his frustration with the queer community’s inability to assist him satisfactorily during his imprisonment. They believed homophobia would one way or the other lead to more queer people identifying as former homosexuals. This is how I feel about ex-gays. While I’m of course very aware of the harm they cause by simply identifying as such, I’m also aware of the effects of queerphobia which are unemployment, homelessness and possibly death. Desperate times call for desperate measures, no? The problem is that there are people waiting to award and prey on that desperation to promote their homophobia. 

On the question of intent, I think the people who platform ex-gays are malicious, and not the ex-gays themselves. In the Community Chat, I asked our listeners to imagine being outed in the community, knowing that the possible outcomes are either conversion therapy, imprisonment or mob violence. “Wouldn’t you say you’re no longer gay? At that point, isn’t it about survival?”. I asked everyone to especially consider the anti-LGBTQ+ bill which was passed by the Ghanaian parliament this year. 

A popular transgender woman in Nigeria named Bobrisky was arrested this year and according to Nigerian Twitter, answered that she’s a man when she was asked in court. It was for this same reason: survival. It’s too bad that we have to deny who we are just so we can stay alive, but it is what it is. 

In a feminist gathering I attended this year, a transgender man shared with the group the difficulty of trying to counter homophobic stereotypes in Ghana. He said the media isn’t interested in speaking to and hearing from people who identify as queer. They’d rather platform and engage people who say they used to be queer but have now found God and changed their ways.  

I obviously can’t speak for the intentions of every ex-gay— or any, really. I don’t know if all of them had no choice but to publicly identify as such. What I want us to be aware of is the fact that that could be any of us, and while it would cause harm to the community, it wouldn’t be our fault. It would be the fault of the homophobes platforming us to push their agenda. 

I love that our guest speaker suggested that we figure out how to respond to the lies that are told by ex-gays. One suggestion was that we out them when they return to their homosexual ways, because again, according to K, they always do. I can’t lie, I was amused. 

Do you have any ideas?